Lies and Deception

“O, what a tangled web we weave;

When first we practice to deceive!”   Sir Walter Scott

 

L – Libels                                            D – Dishonest

I – Inaccuracies                                 E – Embezzler

E – Erroneous                                    C - Charlatan

S – Sham                                             E –Ersatz

                                                             P – Pretender

                                                             T – Trickery

                                                             I – Impostor

                                                             O – Objection

                                                             N – Not real

Almost everyone has experienced being on the receiving end of lies and deception from a spouse/lover, parent, sibling, child, friend or co-worker.   

Lying is a natural part of human interaction.  Most misrepresentations are to protect our self-image to those around us, or social lies.  Then there are the white lies which are told to spare someone else’s feelings.  Lies wield the most power when the ‘storyteller’ begins to believe them.  By repeating the untruth over and over again, it may become easier to believe it to be the truth.  Thus, the birth of the sociopath.

Lies and deception build on one another and tend to create their own sense of reality.  Individuals who lie about their past, tell one little story that doesn’t seem “so bad.”  The next time, having told that story, it becomes part of their long-term memory, or false memory.  Over time, a truthful memory has been created by the fabricator. 

It’s not impossible or difficult to discern lying and deception from a person’s body language, reactions and speech patterns.  The following are clues to follow in conjunction with your instincts:

·         Speech rate and breathing pattern change

·         Avoids eye contact

·         Fidgets or keeps hand, arm and leg movement toward own body

·         Gestures/expressions don’t match verbal statement

·         Communicates using fewer personal pronouns

 



Beyond the breach of trust and integrity that lying and deception cause, there is the emotional hurt and anger.  Psychologist and author Shirley Glass wrote in her book Not “Just Friends”:

“Relationships are contingent on honesty and openness.  They are built and maintained through our faith that we can believe what we are being told.  However painful it is for a betrayed souse to discover a trail of sexual encounters or emotional attachments, the lying and deception are the most appalling violations.”

Relationships are built on trust, openness, mutual respect and personal freedom.  Real freedom comes when we choose how we will treat others – will we abide by the Golden Rule, or the Egotistical Rule.  Will we impart benevolence or indifference?  Will we be selfish or selfless?
Scriptures guide us that lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal faithfully are His delight.  (Proverbs 12:33).  Be kind to one another and have the highest regard for integrity.