Gratitude

I have been challenged by my daughter to choose a word for the year of 2017 - a word that represents my intentions.  This word should help me accomplish my goals for the year.  So for 2017, I will focus my intentions and heart on the word - GRATITUDE.

This word is often used at the end of the year or harvest time to be thankful for the blessings that have been bestowed upon us thus far.  I am choosing to set my heart on blessings that abound throughout the day.  Oftentimes a major blessing overshadows a daily blessing and we forget to give thanks at the moment of receiving.

Daily blessings of - waking/breathing; sunshine/clouds/rain; health; family friends who are our "stretcher bearers"; freedoms; free-will; guidance; love; faith; strength; nature.  This involves living in the moment and being aware of the gift of the PRESENT.  Some refer to it as living with intention.

We all, my self included, can allow a situation to make us feel a victim.  Be grateful for those situations.  Step back and become an observer of it-you are not the only person to ever face a challenge.  Be open to life and embrace each day with GRATITUDE.

Creative Expression

This weekend the weather in Kansas City returned to winter with freezing drizzle and colder temperatures.  The city was all pumped for the Chiefs football playoff and the weather didn't deter our warrior spirit!

I decided to take advantage of the foreboding weather and spent the weekend upgrading my master bathroom with a fresh coat of paint.  Having lived in an apartment for the last six years I felt the need for a Google refresher course in the technique of painting. To know me as a senior adult is to know I am more calculated in my actions than I was 40 years ago.  My time and energy is more limited so I'm not fond of creating work for myself by trying to get the job done in a hurry!

I did the necessary prep work-finding the right color (or so I thought), prepping the walls-filling holes, sanding and painters tape.  Now for the creative expression of the loaded brush/roller and placing the pigment on the wall!! And viola-the color suddenly is not what I had envisioned...the lighting/mirror reflection brought out a different pigment along with the contrasting white tile, vanity and toilet.  All of my efforts were in vain.  Color can be highly subjective yet evoke psychological effects. I was hoping to create a tranquil effect not an energetic one,since the bathroom has interior walls and no windows.

Oftentimes we can do all of the necessary planning and preparation, yet neglect the natural forces that affect the end results.  When our anticipated results aren't achieved we need to stop, relax, give ourselves time to understand and appreciate the results, then determine what went awry and how we plan on achieving our mental result.


    The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry!

Spacious Living

The Leap Year of 2016 brought changes in every corner of my life-a mental, physical and emotional journey of purging.  That included sorting through my parents belongings to sell their home of 23 years; sorting and moving my own personal belongings because I vacated my apartment of six years; and sorting and moving my work space as my job responsibilities and location changed after ten years.  While I thought I was good at purging, we all know how we tend to fill up every nook and cranny with stuff, especially items neatly tied with an emotional bow!

Since the dust has settled, I decided to enroll in the course "A Year to Clear".  For those of us who have lost our parents, our emotions tend to get neatly wrapped up in their material belongings as a way to hold onto them and the precious memories of our childhood.  It has taken a lifetime to build up the stressful patterns that affect me physically and emotionally.  I am looking forward to discovering the space lurking behind my physical, mental and emotional attachments to my resistances and growing new habits.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Phil 4:7

Happy Sunday!

NYE 2016🎉

Today marks the last day of the year of 2016-a somewhat sad yet occasionally beautiful year of 366 days.  It's been said that "If you change nothing, Nothing will change".

The year began with a fun entrance celebrated with close friends.  We had a wonderful celebratory meal followed by a movie.  Three days into the new year, one of those dear friends suffered a stroke.  The month of January continued on an unsteady course of my sibling and I making a hard decision to put our parents in a care facility.  We both knew that we had kept them in their home to the point they were no longer safe and able to care for one another.

The Ides of March blew in an opportunity to visit my daughter in Virginia to pick out her dream of a wedding dress.  We went to a bridal shop near her as an introduction to the whole "Say Yes to THE Dress" process.  No matter how we tried to trick her choices, Cares kept going back to her favorite.  When the bridal assistant put the veil on her head, tears rolled down her cheeks.  Eureka!!

That awesome visit turned sour two days later when I received a call that my mother was not doing well and was being transported to a hospital in Kansas City.  When my girlfriend picked me up from the airport we headed to the hospital.  While mother was on oxygen, she seemed to be holding her own.  Yet two days later she was struggling and incoherent.  Intervention of a respirator and feeding tube did not bring positive results.  Mother was very fragile and frail.  On March 28, 2016 Ruth Barbara Howerton passed into eternal rest and peace. I look forward to meeting her at Jesus' feet,

May flowers brought news that my daughter's finance was going to be deployed in October, the month of their planned wedding in Virginia.  While my daughter was devastated on multiple levels, she faced this challenge in her life head on, realizing that God had greater plans for her and Aaron,
"For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jerimiah 28:11.  We saw God's hand on the planning and the event - a ceremony of love and fellowship with family and friends.

June brought sunshine in many forms - friends gathering at the Wine Song Fest, winery tours, live music concert provided by Keith Urban, pool party and meeting a special man that turned my life in a new direction.  In between the happy events were the continued responsibilities of handling my parents estate and finances.  God continued to provide the necessary wisdom and strength and a bevy of emotional support by family and friends.

The fall brought more changes into my life - the loss of my beloved Uncle Ed - he filled in the gaps and gullies that can surface in a father/daughter relationship.  He never failed to provide a guiding light in my life in the interactions and decisions concerning my parents.  He always told me he loved me and prayed for me for wisdom.  I know that he is at peace with his own battle with cancer and other multiple health issues.  I am so thankful for his influence on my life.  And the fall also brought the promise of a committed relationship into my life.

The year ended with me relocating my home and my job.  Lots of challenges and changes, but lots of cherished personal beautiful moments - my daughter marrying the love of her life, hearing my dad sing his favorite Christmas songs and welcoming the new year with hope and much love.

Free Spirit

Free spirit types are people everyone wants to be around and everybody secretly wants to be.  They are happy and appreciative of the world around them and are non-judgmental of others.  Below are some tips on acting like a free spirit:

1.  Live in the NOW - you can't relive the past nor are you guaranteed the future, so live in the gift of the present. 

2.  Don't live to please others - the approval of your friends and family shouldn't define your every move - be your authentic self.

3.  Be open minded - be willing to step out of your 'comfort zone' and try new and unexpected things.

4.  Don't sweat the small stuff - when things don't go as planned just take it with a grain of salt and look for the positive in the situation.

5.  Be independent and don't rely on others - don't rely on others for your happiness and success just create your own and be in charge of your life.

6.  Avoid trends - read, wear and watch whatever speaks to your style and personality not the latest trend.

7.  Explore the world - learn and explore the world to gain a deeper appreciation

Free spirits know they are in charge of their own happiness and don't allow anyone to take that away from them.

Angels

An angel is a spiritual being believed to act as an agent of God.  Angels are not composed of physical matter but are spirit beings created by God (Heb. 1:14). Angels do serve a purpose for humans.  Each one of us has at least one, maybe more, that are assigned to each and every one of us and one helped to strengthen Jesus (Luke 22:43).  They’re commanded to “encamp all around us” and keep us from falling, getting hurt, who have been and will be “…from this time forth and forever to be with us”… and even strengthen us, and minister to us (Luke 22:43, Psalm 34:7, 91:10-13, 103:21).  

My two angels are the form of my dear mother Barbara and loving grandmother Nan.  My mother had the distinct pleasure of being born on her mother's birthday, June 26th.  Those two always had a special bond.  They both died at the age of 87, my grandmother in the month of February and mother in the month of March.

I was blessed to have these two women of faith and love guiding me on my journey.  They were examples of love and kindness, lifting and encouraging others.  When I was jobless, my mother called me every morning to ask what I was doing that day.  Whenever I had a need or challenge in my life - they both were lifting you up in prayer.  And they both knew how to laugh and smile, neither of them ever knowing a stranger. They instilled values in me that molded me for multiple roles of a  woman as wife, mother, sister, aunt and friend.

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."
 Hebrews 13:2

                                                    Happy heavenly birthday my sweet angels! 

Motherless Daughter

Grief came to visit me in the form of the emotional and physical loss of my dear mother, Barbara.  I had the honor to be with her as she entered into eternal sleep, just as she was with me when I entered into natural life.  The experience was such a sweet time of celebratory peace.  My faith instills in me the hope of being reunited with my loved ones in heaven.

My mother was a unique individual – she was talented in her sewing abilities – would see an article of clothing in a store and would go home to put her skills to use to recreate it from memory.  She never knew a stranger – could easily talk with anyone, which made her an excellent salesperson for Avon and Beeline Fashions.  She had a strong faith and loved doing things to honor God – teaching Sunday school, singing in the choir, fixing an entrée for a church dinner, or gathering items for Shoe Box ministry. 

I have fond memories of making fudge together and eating it between saltine crackers, shopping together, going to the movies together, getting our nails done together, pouring out my heart to her with my concerns for events in my life, or being at my bedside when I was ill.  She was not only my mother but my best friend, strongest confidante, loudest cheerleader and faithful encourager.

The biggest legacy that my mother left for me to carry on was her faith in God and the power of prayer. My faith has sustained me through many triumphs and various valleys – but now to endure the biggest challenge of my life – to carry on without the physical presence of her essence and love.  I will look for her presence in the evening sunset, the wind, the fragrant rain, the gentle snow,  the blooming surprise lilies, the aromatic dogwood and the presence of a red Cardinal for her spirit is now interwoven into God’s wondrous world.

Happy Mother’s Day - I love you Angel Momma!

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing ~ Robert Ingersoll